


Appearances and Deceit

by Angylle



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng Angst, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Good Parent Gabriel Agreste, Hot Mess Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Protective Gabriel, not your average Adrien
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:09:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23386402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angylle/pseuds/Angylle
Summary: It has been ten days since his mother's disappearance. No one in the house seems willing to discuss where she went or why she left. Nathalie's only response is to make Adrien write Journal Entries.What if Adrien was not what he seemed? What if Emelie had shown the Miraculous Grimoire to Adrien, and they came up with bed time stories from it when he was little?Will that change his objective as Chat Noir?
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Appearances and Deceit

Day 10

For the record, I’m against this.

I have never written or wanted to write a diary. What dumb fu… idiot, wants to keep diaries with all their incriminating sh*t. But Nathalie has required me to start one. She thinks that I have been too angry lately. If only she knew. Of course, I’m going to be angry Nath! Thank you for stating the obvious. She promised not to read the entries if I posted them to the program she installed on my computer that would let her see the word count and let her know if it was the same word or phrase copied and pasted repeatedly. She probably thinks this is the next best thing to seeing a therapist. Hundred-word quota met, toodles. (125)

Day 15

So, I haven’t written anything in days. I thought I had gotten away with disobeying Nathalie’s crazy ideas but today she added extra Economics, Geometry and Calculus lessons, with all the extra problems. I’m all for Math but too much is too much. To say that Nathalie is not happy would be an understatement. I would say I don’t care but I think I’m too exhausted and my brain is utter mush at the moment. Why am I barely at 79 words?! 80! What else happened today? Father has stopped having lunch with me. I think I did something wrong but he won’t tell me. He has stopped leaving the house for work, closing himself off more than he has secluded me. Yeah… (123)

Day 16

I HATE THEM ALL! MOTHER FATHER NATHALIE GORILLA! EVERY ADULT! You’re all liars! You’re all just people who just walk out of a person’s life without any regard for anyone's well being!!! I HATE YOU ALL! I hope you’re reading this Nathalie! Why can’t I go on the trip with you and Father!! You expect me to write in this stupid thing daily but can’t keep me company daily? The one good thing about your stupid trip is that I won’t see your stupid face! Yours or Father’s! And I won’t write in this stupid thing for as long as you’re gone. THIS IS 110 words. HAPPY? You’re an idiot. (110)

Day 30

Ah, they’re back. And my word quota was raised to 250 words for disobedience. Could have been worse, she could ask to read what I’m writing. I also ended up with extra lessons again, this time in Literature. “It will teach you how to write more consistently,” she says. If I didn’t know she didn’t have a sense of humor, I would have thought she was pranking me.

66 words, Agh!

Life was pretty normal while my father and Nathalie were away. She continued to give me lessons through video chats. I don’t think she gets paid enough for everything she does. The only thing she couldn’t do while she was away was check my daily word counts. I knew she wouldn’t be able to check them, I counted on it.

And she knew I had counted on it. 

I bet she’s enjoying this, my suffering at a keyboard. The increase in the stupid quota is her stupid sneaky way to get me to open up. She wants me to spill my emotional guts into this stupid program. She can’t even ask me directly how I feel, I don’t think she has the emotional capacity for it, but this is cheating. Then again, I guess no more cheating than Father does in parenting. 

I need forty-five more words. Forty. She mentioned Father would be joining me for dinner today. I hope he makes it. I miss Mom. I miss her bedtime stories even though I’m too old for them.

ONE. (250)

Day 33

I had too much Literature work to do, piano practice and a photoshoot, there was no way to put in time for writing in this program. My stupid quota has now gone up to 300 words. How am I going to survive that? She keeps adding work and has even restricted Chloé’s visits. Well, it wasn’t like she visited often anyway but now Father has denied her visits completely until I catch up with lesson-work claiming I’m distracted. Well, duh, life changing events can distract you Father! Didn’t you know? No, you don’t, you continue being an insufferable donkey as your career careens to success. Leaving the rest of us in your dust…

One hundred sixteen.

Chloé and I had _plans_. She was going to visit more often once her summer vacation started. I gave her my schedule for the summer and everything! Of course, even if I hadn’t given it to her, she would have been capable of getting it, but it was the thought that counted. She wasn’t happy when I called her to tell her the bad news. She called Nathalie all types of things and threatened me to get my act together (or else) so she could visit. Chloé hung up after promising to bring fun things to do each time she comes over if I can get the visit ban lifted. It just means that I have to follow my schedule more closely when it comes to lesson-work and practice. And ignoring complications that can happen, like the lighting issue yesterday that caused the photoshoot to take an extra hour. Yes, ignore life problems and continue on schedule. 

The problem is that they didn’t specify how long I have to be on ‘good behavior’. It’s occasions like this when I want to rage and throw a tantrum a two year old would be embarrassed to have. If only my father wasn’t so determined to have the perfect child, I could have more free time. (And do what?) In the meantime, I’m alone with my thoughts when I can’t leave my room.

I miss Mom. (349)

Day 34

I feel violated.

Someone has gone into my room when I wasn't there. Nothing new, really, except this time I _know_ they took something. My mother's fairytale book. The one we couldn't read but came up with stories using the pictures. It's gone. Nowhere to be found. And I searched my room. Three times over. I made a mess of everything trying to find it. I searched the whole house until Father told me to stop, saying Mom probably took it with her when she left… would Mom take the book and not me? Am I that worthless?

But it can't be true! It was still here a couple of weeks ago. It was here before he left for his stupid trip! It makes no sense! Someone has to have taken it.

Father was very upset when I started to accuse people of stealing my book. We had a very public argument in front of the house staff, Nathalie and Gorilla. He sent me to my room. Much difference there. I'm always in my room alone, thank you Father. I searched my room one last time as I put everything into its place. It's definitely not here. 

I looked through the pictures in my phone until I found the ones I had taken of the book when I was trying to use translation apps on it. It wasn't even all the pages from the book! I started to quickly save backups of the pictures to my computer. It hurts to see that one of the things Mom treasured is lost somewhere beyond my reach. Just like she is. 

I had calmed down by dinner time. For once Father was sitting at the head of the table, ready to eat with me. I asked him if we could check the cameras from the main parts of the house to see if I could find Mom's book. He adamantly refused. He even implied that I lost it! I have never taken that book out of my room since Mom gave it to me, how would I have lost it!? After that accusation, I demanded no one enter my room again, not even to clean it. I will learn to take care of that from now on. If he wouldn't believe that I had not lost it, then no one is allowed to come in. When I saw Nathalie after dinner, I asked her to bring me cleaning supplies to keep in my closet. (411)

Day 35

Gorilla brought me a book today. I think he's sending me a message. "The Simple Traits Of A Truly Good Person" a wonderful, _fifteen_ chapter book. 

It's not that I'm a bad person. At least I don't think I am. I try to be a good person. Try to be less selfish. Try to be kind, polite, generous. And all the other things listed in the fifteen chapter titles. (I haven't been able to read it yet.) 

It's just... my bad luck to be in the worst situations possible. My bad luck that my mother left when she did instead of facing her disease with her husband and son. My bad luck that she didn’t come back and Father found refuge in his work when his son wasn't enough to console him.

My bad luck that I can't control the dark emotions, only hide them.

And not even hide them well if both Nat and Gorilla have seen through me.

I'm tired of it: My emotions. My bad luck. Being alone in a huge house. Interacting with only Nathalie and occasionally Chloé. Leaving the house only for whatever Father requires. Hiding everything under a smile. One I can only manage because Mother coached me in acting and Father taught me to model. Tired of everyone else's interests being pushed on me and not knowing what I really like. Modeling, acting, fencing, basketball, piano, languages, anything and everything I do someone else chose for me in order to shape me into perfection. 

Just because I'm good at learning new things doesn't mean that I want or have to. They never understood that.

How can I be perfect when I can't even control my emotions?

I'm exhausted. (286)

Day 37

I skipped writing yesterday. Free day! Will she notice? WHO KNOWS! She hasn’t checked my word counts since my book went missing three days ago. I thought I'd write today, anyway. I don't want to push my luck.

Yesterday was something else... I had no assignments, no photoshoots, no piano practice. It was a day fully dedicated to lounge about my room. It was fun… but would have been better if I had some company. Chloé got to spend the day with Sabrina, her school friend. She complains about the girl but I think she would be as lonely as me if she didn’t have her. She messaged me all day, complaining about this or that and called twice. They sounded like they were having fun. I wish I could have invited them over but Chloé is still not allowed in the house.

I ended the day by cleaning my room. Basic maintenance. I looked up ‘how to clean’ online after I got tired of playing. I think I have the basics. I cleaned the restroom and my room after. It doesn’t look professional, but it doesn’t look bad. I know I will get better at it.

One hundred ninety-seven.

I wonder if ninety-seven counts as two words or one. Ahg, just checked, the word counter indicated that it counts it as one. I wonder If I’m still required to write three hundred words. I wrote around two hundred-eighty the last time. Nathalie hasn’t mentioned writing outside my lessons. 

ONE. (250)

Day 39

Nathalie has not checked my word counts in almost a week. I think she finally forgot she assigned them. I wouldn’t be surprised, Father has been unusually quiet the last few days, but she’s been all over town working under his orders. She has even given me some lessons via video call between meetings. Something she doesn’t do unless she’s out of town. Meanwhile Father hasn’t even stepped out of his office. Maybe he has a big project. I see his meals go into his office but they come out almost untouched. Nathalie must be worried. I wonder if Father’s okay… 

It never got this bad when Mom was around. He worked from the office, or even from here, but she made him take breaks, come out to the park and eat with us. What are you doing Father? (139)

Day 40

Nathalie finally knocked on my door last night asking to see my word counts. She wasn’t surprised I slacked off and didn’t do them, because she also had slacked. I like the way Nathalie handles situations when she doesn’t have Father’s influence. Of course, I still have a _daily_ three hundred word quota. She didn’t stop herself from emphasizing the word ‘ _daily’._ So here I am, racking my mind, trying to find something to express. Nope, nothing, nada, zilch. I wonder if the program will notice if I just repeat the same word in different languages. 

96/300, not even a third. 

I was alone for breakfast and lunch, again. Why do I bother to eat downstairs anyway? It’s not like he ever shows up. Does he even eat? He definitely doesn’t leave the house anymore. It’s like Nathalie has become his legs and voice. Were they always this synchronized? 

One hundred fifty. (WTF!)

After lunch, Nathalie gave me a Biology mini lesson and left me to work on the research project at the dining room table. This was routine, she would give me the lesson and let me work through an assignment then come back half an hour later, more or less, give me a lesson on another subject and let me work. I love the mini lessons she gives! I hate seeing her go. 

Father called her as she was finishing the last lesson for the day. She has become indispensable since Mom left. Do we have to share her? She reminded me to practice piano and Mandarin before dinner and left. I don’t think Nathalie ever leaves the house unless it’s for business anymore either. 

I can feel the walls converge on me, the longer mom is gone the more they close in. 

NEED FOUR MORE WORDS. (300)

Day 41

I was in a cage, in the middle of a zoo. People stared and laughed and played just outside the bars. It wasn’t scary, but the nightmare still woke me up. 

I’m tired of the walls’ advance as they envelop me, cutting me off from the beautiful blue sky. Sometimes I hate my windows as they taunt me with the view. Sure I can open them, but that doesn’t stop the walls from moving closer. My room feels like a sarcophagus. I started to clean it again today as soon as I woke but it didn’t change the feeling of dead air. 

As I put away my cleaning supplies I decided I needed to speak with Father, and I needed to do it as soon as possible. _Maybe I can reason with him. He used to be reasonable._ Those were the naive thoughts that crossed my mind as I prepared to talk with father. Sometimes, some things are too much to ask for. 

I walked to my Father's office and waited for his breakfast to be brought by. I didn’t give Enzo the opportunity to speak as I took the tray of food he had prepared for Father’s breakfast off his hands and walked it into dad’s office. Ignoring whatever protocol dad had set up with Enzo for food delivery, I stalked to the desk and set the food there. 

He watched me from across the room surprised that I would walk into his office without warning. Honestly, I was surprised too. I guess it was the claustrophobia driving me. I _should_ have waited until he called me. I _should_ have asked Nathalie to set up a meeting with my father. There were so many things I _could_ have done. Instead I think I made things worse by barging in. 

“You didn’t knock,” my father deadpanned as he glared at me. I could feel myself shrink under that glare. “What did you need?”

Short and simple, short and simple. I must have repeated the mantra three times to myself before voicing my request. “Tomorrow is one of Chloé’s days off from school, and then she’s off for the summer. I hoped you would allow her to come over.” I really needed a distraction, that’s all I wanted! I should have known better. 

As soon as my father pursed his lips I knew I was denied. He asked about my studies, which were all going fine. He asked about the photoshoots, good as well. Piano and Chinese were well too but then he mentioned my missed journal entries. “You skipped a day and it was insufficient for three days. You’re not completing your duties, I can't allow time for more distractions.”

I did not respond, I turned around and fled. I made a mistake. (463)

**Author's Note:**

> I have many thanks to offer the wonderful people of [Miraculous Ladybug FanFiction Discord server](https://discord.gg/PjNZgsf) for being amazing betas and motivators. 
> 
> I am noticing so many things as I write and rewatch episodes for this. Like how gravity doesn’t really work on hair in the show. It's very interesting.


End file.
